03:44 pm - NFL Napkin Picks For Week 6
We'll hit these quick. An improved 8-5 last week for a season total of 34-23 with one no contest. And as my mother mentioned last week, despite that 8-7 faceplant last week, we actually covered her contest's spread and went 12-3.
Chicago over Atlanta: Michael Turner, meet an actual defense. Defense, meet Michael Turner. Don't hit him too hard, OK?
Miami over Houston: Thanks to one freaking trick play involving a direct snap to Ronnie Brown, Miami has gone from doormat to actual threat. Can the Houston Texans figure this ouhahahahahahha... sorry. I forget how bad teams are sometimes.
Baltimore over Indianapolis: Peyton Manning finally looked good... against the Houston Texans, with help from a bazillion Sage Rosenfels turnovers. He will have no such luck against Ray Lewis, who may or may not have gotten away with killing somebody, and that Ravens defense. And wow that Colts defense isn't very good.
Minnesota over Detroit: Despite using a cardboard cutout at QB, the Vikings beat the Saints thanks to their sick running game and an opportune defense. I have a feeling they'll do just fine against the laughably awful Lions.
New Orleans over Oakland: Oh hell no you don't, Raiders. This pissed off Saints team doesn't take getting embarassed in the waning moments by a team with no QB on Monday Night Football lightly. JUST LOSE, BABY.
NY Jets over Cincinnati: I'd like to say Brett Favre's getting exposed, but what are the Bengals going to do about it? Punt the ball 12 times?
Carolina over Tampa Bay: Jeff Garcia's rebirth is officially dead.
Washington over St Louis: The Rams suck. Discussion over.
Seattle over Green Bay: Oh, you Seahawks are such flatliners despite your talent, but this game's at Qwest (the loudest stadium in the world), Aaron Rodgers is still too hurt to practice, and if Atlanta can beat the Packers with one tailback, a rookie QB and a prayer, than this haberdash Seahawks team with an outpost running game, 1.7 healthy receivers, their practice squad QB playing every down, a sloppy defense and 50,000 screaming nutbars at their back can do it too.
Denver over Jacksonville: David Garrard will manage the offense and manage zero turnovers and it won't matter because Jay Cutler will throw a touchdown every time his team gets the ball.
Dallas over Arizona: Even after a needlessly close win over the shitty Bengals, I'm not buying that Dallas can get beat in Arizona. That 41-17 blowout Cards win over the Bills came after Adrian Wilson KO'd their starting QB, plus the Bills dangerous return man Roscoe Parrish was injured. It seems like Kurt Warner can't string two good games together anymore anyway.
Philadelphia over San Francisco: After two tough contests, Philly finally gets to shitkick an easy opponent.
New England over San Diego: The Patriots don't look too good under Matt Cassel right now, but after the Dolphins held the ball for 36 minutes against San Diego and didn't give them shit... I'm hard pressed to believe the Chargers can beat New England despite it.
NY Giants over Cleveland: Monday Night Walkover.
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